ichliebekatzen: You are obsessed with Joaquin Phoenix when:

Montag, März 06, 2006

You are obsessed with Joaquin Phoenix when:

1. You decide that you're going to name one of your future children Joaquin no matter what anyone says.
2. You now think that Casey Affleck is cool because Joaquin thinks so, too.
3. You join PETA because Joaquin is passionate about it (and you still continue to eat meat, anyway).
4. Whenever you get angry, you find yourself screaming, "I'm terribly vexed!"
5. At the end of Gladiator, when Lucilla says, "Honor him", you expect everyone to pick up Commodus's dead body, not Maximus's.
6. You talk to your sister about "busy little bees" just to see if you can make her cry.
7. You know how to pronounce his first name.
9. You e-mail random people online asking them if they are Joaquin Phoenix.
10. Your e-mail address is somehow associated with Joaquin (e.g. JoaquinPhoenixLover, Joaquin1495,etc.)
11. You boycott Liv Tyler films because you feel she broke Joaquin's heart.
12. After seeing Gladiator, you're convinced that the real Commodus looked like Joaquin.
13. You get jealous of Joaquin's female co-stars who have gotten to share love scenes with him (e.g. Kate Winslet, Charlize Theron, Liv Tyler).
14. When Commodus died at the end of Gladiator, you stood up and bellowed, "NOOOOOOOOOO!"
15. You have a website devoted to him.
16. You decide you want to pursue acting so maybe you'll be able to star in a movie alongside of him.
17. You've sent MTV's FANatic a tape declaring that you're Joaquin's biggest fan ever.
18. You get jealous of Joaquin fans who have more knowledge of him than you do.
19. You've memorized all of his siblings names, nicknames, and birthplaces.
20. You scour the Internet for his 1993 911 telephone call.
21. You think the webmaster of this website is Joaquin Phoenix (no, I am NOT Joaquin, please stop sending me fan mail).
22. When you feel that you've been nice to someone and they just don't seem to appreciate it, you scream, "AM I NOT MERCIFUL!!!" in their ear and cause them to cry and shudder violently.
23. You think the name 'Joaquin' is cool.
24. You can't stand listening to your friends' tedious conversations without interjecting something about Joaquin in. Example is as follows:
Friend: I bought the new Matchbox 20 CD.
Friend #2: Really? That's awesome. Any good songs?
You: I love Joaquin Phoenix! I saw Gladiator for the TENTH time yesterday!
Friend #1: What the hell does that have to do with Matchbox 20?
25. You gave up combing your hair in the morning because Joaquin never seems to comb his hair.
26. You've been to every Joaquin Phoenix website there is on the Internet.